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小學英語笑話故事

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1. Two Tickets Please

小學英語笑話故事

A young man was in love with a girl. At one weekend, he invited his girlfriend to the cinema. When they were at the ticket box, the young man said to the ticket seller, "Two tickets, please. "

When the ticket seller told him that all the tickets had sold out, the disappointed young man said, "Then do you have any sur- tickets that can allow us to stand together?"

Notes:

(1) be (fall) in love with 愛上

(3) disappointed adj.失望的

(2) sell out 售完,賣完

(4) sur-ticket n.附加票

Exercises:

根據短文回答問題:

①What did the young man do at one weekend?

② How many tickets did he want?

③ Did the ticket-seller have any tickets?

④ Was the young man happy?

⑤ What did he decide to do then?

兩張電影票

一個小夥子愛上了一位姑娘。週末,他請她看電影。來到售票處,小夥子對售票員說:“請給兩張票。”售票員告訴他所有的票都賣完了。失望的年輕人說:“那麼,您有兩張可以讓我們站在一起的附加票嗎?”

練習參考答案

① He invited his girlfriend to the cinema.

② TWO.

③ No, the tickets had sold out

④ No, he wasn't.

⑤ He decided to buy two sur-tickets which could allow them to stand together.

2. Ill Keep it on My Floor

My 16-year-old son, Jeff, is a boy any parent would be proud of --until you see the floor of his room, covered with layers of clothes, magazines and sports equipment.

Recently I accompanied Jeff to the credit union where he opened up his first bank account. While the credit officer was processing the paper work, I told Jeff he needed a safe, accessible place to store his passbook. "I know, Mom," he replied. "I' 11 keep it on my floor. "

Notes

(1) be proud of 爲……感到自豪They were Very proud of their success.他們對他們的成功感到非常驕傲。

(2) layer n.層

(3) equipment n.設備

(4) accompany v.陪伴

(5) credit union 信用聯社

(6) account n.(銀行)帳戶

(7) process v.辦理

(8) accessible adj.可接近的,可用的

Exercises:

根據短文判斷下列句子正(T)、誤(F)

(1) The son was 17 years old.

(2) The parents are very proud of Jeff.

(3) The floor of Jeff' s room is always covered with layers of clothes, magazines, toys, and sports equipment.

(4) The mother took Jeff to open their first bank account.

(5) Jeff will keep the money on the floor.

3. The Attraction of the Map

Mr. Smith taught English at a school the beginning of his lesson, he liked to have one of his students give a report on any subject. When it was Jack's turn, he told his audience about his elder brother who was a local worker. But during the report, his eyes were staring at the world map on the wall all the time. Mr. Smith knew that Jack didn't look at the audience because he was nervous. He said to Jack jokingly, "We can see you miss your brother very much. But is he 0. K. now in South America?"

Notes:

(1) subject n.題目

(2) audience n .聽衆

(3) jokingly adv. 開玩笑地

Exercises:

根據短文填空:

(1) Mr. Smith taught ________ at a school.

(2) He liked to have one of his students give a ______ on any subject.

(3) Jack told his audience about his elder brother who was a _____ worker.

(4) During his report, Jack didn't look at the _______ .

(5) Jack looked at the world map all the time because he was ______ .

地圖的引力

史密斯先生在一所學校教英語。在每次課的開始,他喜歡叫一個學生上講臺作講演,題材不限。輪到傑克作講演時,他向聽衆講述了他的`哥哥。他的哥哥就在當地工作。但在講述過程中,傑克的眼睛一直盯着牆上的世界地圖。史密斯先生知道傑克不敢看聽衆是因爲緊張。他開玩笑似地對傑克說:“我們能看出你非常想念你的哥哥,他現在在南美還好嗎?”

練習參考答案

① English ② report ③ local ④ audience ⑤ nervous

放在地板上

我的兒子傑弗,十六歲。他是一個令父母感到自豪的孩子,只是你別去看他房間的地板,那上面總是堆滿了一層層的衣服、雜誌及運動器材。

不久前,我帶傑弗到信用聯社去開他自己的帳戶,這是他第一次開銀行帳戶。當信用社職員在辦理手續的時候,我便告訴傑弗說他需要一個安全可靠的地方來儲存密碼本。“我知道,媽媽,”他回答說,“我會在地板上找到地方的。”

練習參考答案

①F②T③F④F⑤T

4. What Grade

Kristin,, my 17-year-old niece, had just gotten her driver's license and offered to take her mom's car to the gas station. She pulled up to the full-service pumps, and the attendant asked, "What grade, miss?"

"Eleventh!" Kristin replied.

Notes:

① niece n.侄女 ④ full-service n.晝夜服務

② license n.駕駛執照 ⑤ pump n.加油機

③ pull up 停止

Exercises:

根據短文回答問題:

(1) How old was Kristin?

(2) What had she just gotten?

(3) what did she offer to do one day?

(4) What did the attendant mean by asking "What grade, miss?"

(5) How did Kristin misunderstand the attendant?

哪一級

我的十七歲的侄女,科里斯蒂,剛剛拿到駕照。她主動提出去加油站給她媽媽的車加油。她把車開到晝夜服務的加油泵前。服務員問她:“(加油加到)哪一級,小姐?”

“十一(年)級!”科里斯蒂回答說。

練習參考答案:

① Seventeen years old.

② She has just gotten her driving license.

③ She offered to take her mother's car to the gas station.

④ He wanted her to select the proper kind of gas for the car.

⑤ She thought that the attendant was asking which grade she was in at school.

5. An Adult Decision

The year before my son turned 18, he constantly pleaded to be allowed to a tattoo, but I refused to sign permission for one. He argued that soon he would be a man and he should be able to make adult decisions. Sure enough, a few days after his 18th birthday, he come home with a tattoo. Although I was not happy about this, I was curious to see what symbol of masculinity he had chosen. There, on his shoulder, was a two-inch image of Mickey Mouse.

Notes:

(1) constantly adv. 不斷地

(2) tattoo n. 文身

(3) permission n. 允許

(4) masculinity n. 陽性,男性

(5) image n . 形象,肖像

(6) Mickey Mouse 米老鼠

Exercises:

根據短文判斷下列句子正(T)、誤(F):

① When the son pleaded to be allowed to a tattoo, the mother thought her son was old enough to make an adult decision.

② A few days before his birthday, the son came home with a tattoo.

③ The mother wondered what symbol her son had chosen.

④ The image of Mickey Mouse on the son's shoulder was three inches long.

⑤ From the passage, we can see that the son really made an adult decision.

成年人的抉擇

我兒子十八歲前的那一年,他常常向我提出准許他文身。但我拒絕允許他這樣做。他爭辯說他不久就要成爲男子漢了,並說他應該能夠作出成年人的抉擇了。果然,十八歲生日的幾天後,他文了身,回到家裏。儘管我對此感到不高興,但出於好奇,我想看看他選擇了什麼雄性象徵物。原來是他在肩上文了一個兩英寸長的米老鼠像。

練習參考答案:

① F ② F ③ T ④ F ⑤ F