Good Sight 好視力
Lawyer: You say you were about thirty-five feet away from the scene of the accident? Just how far can you see clearly?
Witness: Well, when I wake up in the morning I see the Sun, and they tell me it's about ninety-three million miles away.
律師：你說你離事故現場約有35英尺，你能看清多遠的東西?
證人：這麼說吧，早上起牀後我看見太陽，別人告訴我這大約有9300萬英里遠。
來信
Mr. Henry Beecher entered Plymouth Church one Sunday and found several letters awaiting him. He opened one and found it contained the single word ″Fool″. Quietly and with becoming seriousness he announced to the congregation the fact in these words:
″I have known many an instance(實例) of a man writing a letter and forgetting to sign his name, but this is the only instance I have ever known of a man signing his name and forgetting to write the letter.″
一個星期天,亨利·比切先生到普利茅斯的教堂去,在那裏有他的幾封信。他開啟其中一封,發現信中只寫着“傻瓜”兩個字。
他平靜而認真地把這件事告訴教友們：“寫信時忘了簽名的人,我遇到過很多,但只簽了名卻忘了寫信的人,我還是頭一次遇到。”
Customer: Waiter, I can't find any oysters in this oyster stew.
Waiter: Well, you wouldn't expect to find any angels in an angel food cake, would you?
顧客：服務員，我這個牡蠣燉菜裏怎麼沒有牡蠣?
服務員：是啊，你不會指望在天使蛋糕裏發現天使吧?
玫瑰
On the way home one night, I spotted some fresh-cut roses outside a florist's shop. After selecting a dozen and entering the shop, I was greeted by a young saleswoman.
Are these for your wife, sir? she asked.
Yes, I said.
For her birthday? she asked.
No, I replied.
For your anniversary?
No, I said again.
As I pocketed my change and headed toward the door, the young woman called out, I hope she forgives you.
一天晚上回家的路上，我看到一家花店外面有一些剛剪下來的玫瑰。我挑了一打，走進店裏，一個年輕的女售貨員跟我打了個招呼。
先生，這些是送給你妻子的嗎?她問道。
是的，我說。
她的生日?她問。
不是，我回答。
你們的結婚紀念日?
不是，我又答道。
當我將找回的錢裝進口袋，朝門口走去時，那年輕的女人衝我喊道：希望她能原諒你。
Part-time Job業餘工作
When my son was a hign-school sophomore, he got a part-time job sacking groceries at a supermarket. He came home all smiles.
"How was your first day?" I asked.
"It was great, Dad," he replied. "I got to talk to some good-looking girls."
Since Stephen is not very talkative, I asked, "What did you say to them?"
"Do you prefer paper or plastic?"
我兒子在一所中學讀二年級時，在一家超級市場找到了一份包裝商品的業餘工作。他滿面笑容地回到了家。
“第一天感覺如何?”我問。
“好極了，爸爸。”他答道，“我跟許多漂亮的女孩子講了話。”
由於斯蒂芬不善言談，我問道：“你跟他們說了些什麼?”
“你是喜歡紙包裝還是塑料包裝?”
Who Discovered Australia?誰發現了澳大利亞?
Teacher: Find Australia on the map for me, Johnny.
Johnny: It's there, sir.
Teacher: That's right. Now Sammy, who discovered Australia?
Sammy: Johnny, sir.
老師：約翰尼，在地圖上給我找出澳大利亞在什麼地方。
約翰尼：先生，在這兒。
老師：對了。薩默，你來回答我是誰發現了澳大利亞?
薩默：先生，是約翰尼。