搞笑的英文笑話一：
After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date.
和相親對象呆了一晚上後，男人再也受不了了。
Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave.
他事先安排了個朋友給他打電話，這樣他就能借故先離開了。
When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died."
當他回到桌邊，他垂下眼睛，裝出一副陰沉的表情，說：“有個不幸的消息，我的祖父剛剛去世了。”
"Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!"
“謝天謝地!”他的約會對象說，“如果你的`祖父不死，我的祖父就得死了!”
搞笑的英文笑話二：
On a trip to Disney World in Florida, my husband and I adn our two children devoted ourselves wholeheartedly to the wonders of this attraction. After three exhausting days, we headed for home.
弗羅裏達州的迪斯尼樂園是一個迷人的地方。一次我和丈夫以及兩個孩子前往旅遊，我們全身心地沉醉在它的各種奇觀之中。精疲力竭地玩了三天之後，我們要回家了。
As we drove away, our son waved and said, "Good-by, Mickey."
當我們驅車離開時，兒子揮手說："再見，美奇。"
Our daughter waved and said, "Good-by, Minnie."
女兒揮着手說，"再見，美妮。"
My husband waved, rather weakly, and said, "Good-by, Money."
丈夫也有氣無力地揮了揮手，說道："再見，美元。"
搞笑的英文笑話三：
When my printer's type began to go faint, I called a repair shop where a friendly man told me that the printer probably needed only to be cleaned.
由於我的打印機不能打印出清晰的字來，我就打電話給維修部。電話是一位非常和藹的男人接的，他說我的打印機也許只是需要清理一下。
Because the shop charged 50 pounds for such cleanings, he told me, it would be better for me to read the printer's directions and try the job myself.
他還說，如果讓維修部清理的話要交50英鎊的清理費，讓我最好看看使用手冊自己試着清理。
Pleasantly surprised by his words, I asked, "Does your boss know that you discourage business?"
當時我真的被他的話感動了，就問他：“你們老闆知道你這樣拒絕生意麼?”
"Actually it's my boss's idea," the employee replied. "We usually make more money on repairs if we let people try to repair things themselves first."
“事實上，這就是我們老闆的主意，”僱員答道：“因爲如果我們讓用戶先自行修理打印機的話就能掙更多的錢。”