英文小笑話
Big Head
"All the kids make fun of me ”the boy cried to his mother, "They say I have a big head."
"Don't listen to them," his mother comforted him. "You have a beautiful stop crying and go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes."
"Where is the shopping bag?"
"I haven't got one-----use your hat."
大腦袋
“所有孩子都拿我開玩笑”， 小男孩哭着和媽媽說：“他們說我腦袋大”
“別聽他們的，”母親安慰道：“你有一個很漂亮的腦袋。好啦，別哭了，去商店買10磅土豆來。”
“購物袋在哪兒?”
“我沒購物袋了----就用你的帽子吧。”
02class
The mean man's party
The notorious(聲名狼藉的，臭名昭著的) cheap skate(小氣鬼)finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow(肘部，扶手). When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"
吝嗇鬼請客
一個出了名的`小氣鬼終於決定要請一次客了。他在向一個朋友解釋怎麼找到他家時說：“你上到五樓，用你的胳膊肘按門鈴。門開了之後，再用你的腳把門推開。”
“爲什麼要用我的肘和腳呢?”
“天哪!”小氣鬼說，“難道你還能空着手來嗎?能嗎?”
英語笑話四則
NO.1
Distributing chewing gum to the passengers, the stewardess explained it was to keep their ears from popping. When the plane landed, one of the passengers rushed up to her and said, "I'm meeting my wife right away. How do I get the gum out from my ears?"
當空中小姐給乘客們發口香糖的時候，她解釋說口香糖有助於他們防止耳鳴。飛機着陸後，一位乘客跑到這位空中小姐面前，說道：“ 我馬上就要見到我妻子了。我怎麼才能把口香糖從耳朵裏面取出來呢?”
NO.2Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?
A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.
你能告訴我魚網是什麼做的嗎，安? 老師發問道。
把許多小孔用繩子栓在一起就成了魚網了。 小女孩回答道。
NO.3
George comes from school on the first of September.
George, how did you like your new teacher? asked his mother.
I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too.....
9月1日， 喬治放學回到家裏。
喬治，你喜歡你們的新老師嗎? 媽媽問。
媽媽，我不喜歡，因爲她說3加3得6, 可後來又說2加4也得6。
NO.4One day in class, the teacher assigned his students to write a composition – if I Am a Manager.
All the students began to write except a boy. The teacher went to him and asked the reason.
“I am waiting for my secretary,” was the boy’s answer.
一天課上，老師要同學們以“如果我是一個經理”爲題寫一篇作文。
所有的學生都在動筆寫了，只有一個男生例外。老師走過去問他爲什麼不寫。
“我在等我的祕書”。那孩子答道。