死後重生
"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees. "Yes, Sir." the new recruit replied."Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you.
“你相信人能死後重生嗎?”老闆問他的一個員工。 “我相信，先生”。這位剛上班不久的員工回答。 “哦，那還好”。老闆接着說。 “你昨天提早下班去參加你祖母的葬禮後，她老人家到這兒看你來了。”
輕率的插話
The fine-furniture store where I work has been in business since the 1920s. Recently I received a call from a woman who wanted to replace some chairs from a dining set purchased from us in the 1930s. I assured her we could help and sought the assistance of the office manager. "You'll never believe this one, " I told him." I just got a call from a customer who bought some chairs from us in the 1930s. " Before I could finish repeating her request, he interrupted and said, "Don't tell me she hasn't received them yet!"
我所工作的精品傢俱商店是從20世紀二十年代以來就營業的.。最近我接到一個婦女的電話。她想換一套餐具中的一些椅子。這套餐具她是在三十年代從我們這兒買的。我向她保證說我們可以幫她的忙，於是我向部門經理尋求幫助。“你永遠也不會相信，”我對他說，“我剛接到一個顧客的電話，她在三十年代從我們這裏買了一些椅子。” 我還沒來得及說她的要求，經理就打斷了我的話：“你別告訴我她到現在還沒收到貨!”
他什麼都沒聽到
Working at the post office, I'm used to dealing with a moody public. So when one irate customer stormed my desk, I responded in my calmest voice, "What's the trouble?" "I went out this morning," she began, "and when I came home I found a card saying the mailman tried to deliver a package but no one was home. My husband was in all morning. He never heard a thing!" After apologizing, I got her parcel. "Oh, good," she gushed. "We've been waiting for this for ages." "What is it?" I asked. "My husband's new hearing aid."
我在郵局上班，對於顧客們的各種情緒早已習以爲常了。所以，有一天當一個生氣的顧客氣沖沖地來到我的工作臺時，我還是非常平靜地問她，“有什麼問題嗎?”“我早上上街了，”女顧客說，“我回到家的時候，我看到一個卡片，卡片說郵遞員要給我們家送包裹，但沒人在家。可是我的丈夫整個早上都在家啊。他說他什麼都沒聽到”。在表示了歉意之後，我把包裹給了她。“噢，太好了”，那位女顧客喜形於色。“我們等這東西都等多少年了!”“是什麼好東西?”我問。“我丈夫的新助聽器”。
他什麼都沒聽到
Working at the post office, I'm used to dealing with a moody public. So when one irate customer stormed my desk, I responded in my calmest voice, "What's the trouble?" "I went out this morning," she began, "and when I came home I found a card saying the mailman tried to deliver a package but no one was home. My husband was in all morning. He never heard a thing!" After apologizing, I got her parcel. "Oh, good," she gushed. "We've been waiting for this for ages." "What is it?" I asked. "My husband's new hearing aid."
我在郵局上班，對於顧客們的各種情緒早已習以爲常了。所以，有一天當一個生氣的顧客氣沖沖地來到我的工作臺時，我還是非常平靜地問她，“有什麼問題嗎?”“我早上上街了，”女顧客說，“我回到家的時候，我看到一個卡片，卡片說郵遞員要給我們家送包裹，但沒人在家。可是我的丈夫整個早上都在家啊。他說他什麼都沒聽到”。在表示了歉意之後，我把包裹給了她。“噢，太好了”，那位女顧客喜形於色。“我們等這東西都等多少年了!”“是什麼好東西?”我問。“我丈夫的新助聽器”。
電腦問題
I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packard's DeskJet division for about a month when I had a customer call with a problem I just couldn't solve. She could not print yellow. All the other colors would print fine, which truly baffled me because the only true colors are cyan, magenta, and yellow. I had the customer change ink cartridges，delete and reinstall the drivers. Nothing worked. I asked my coworkers for help; they offered no new ideas. After over two hours of troubleshooting, I was about to tell the customer to send the printer in to us for repair when she asked quietly, "Should I try printing on a piece of white paper instead of yellow paper?"
我在惠普公司打印機部做技術支援工作已經有一個月了，有一天我接到一位客戶的電話，她的問題我沒辦法解決。她的問題是：打印機不能打出來黃色，但是其它顏色都正常。這讓我覺得很納悶，因爲三原色就是藍、紅、黃。我建議客戶更換墨盒、刪了驅動程序然後重新安裝，但是都沒有效果。我諮詢同事們，他們也不知道該怎麼辦。經過兩個多小時的交涉，我打算讓客戶把打印機寄給我們，這時候她平靜地說了一句：“我是不是應該把這張黃紙扔了換一張白紙再打印試試。”
精神病醫生
Jerry went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm going crazy!" "Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears." "How much do you charge?" "A hundred dollars per visit." "I'll sleep on it," said Jerry. Six months later the doctor met Jerry on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist. "For a hundred bucks a visit? The bartender cured me for $10." "Is that so! How?" "He told me to cut the legs off the bed! Ain't nobody under there now!"
傑瑞去看精神病醫生。“醫生，我有些不對勁。每次睡覺的時候，我都感覺有人在牀下。我要瘋了!”“給我一年時間，”醫生說，“每週來三次，我會治好你。”“費用是多少呢?”“每次一百美元。”“我會認真考慮的。”傑瑞答道。六個月後醫生和傑瑞在街上相遇了，“爲什麼你再也沒來呢?”醫生問。“一次一百塊錢嗎?有個酒吧服務生收了十塊錢就把我治好了。”“真的?他怎麼做到的?”“他讓我把牀腿鋸掉。現在那沒人了!”