英語笑話可以陶冶情操， 減少人生中的各種煩惱 ，提高自己對英語的閱讀興趣 ，學習生活也會更加順利，下面由本站小編爲您帶來的`爆笑英語笑話。
Who Should be Given the Present
A father of five came home with a toy, summoned his children and asked which one of them should be given the present, “Who is the most obedient, never talks back to mother and does everything he or she is told?” he inquired. There was silence and then a chorus of voices: “You play with it, Daddy!”
一個有五個孩子的父親帶着一件玩具回到家裏，把孩子們召集來問這件禮物應該給誰。“誰最聽話，從不和媽媽頂嘴，讓幹什麼就幹什麼?”他問道。大家都不吭聲。過了一會兒，孩子們異口同聲地說：“爸爸，您玩兒吧。”
年長者階層
During the doctor's periodic visit to my elderly mother, I told him that Mother would be celebrating her 98th birthday in few days. Delighted by the news, he bent down and gave her a kiss for the occasion. He then announced that he, too, would be celebrating a birthday in few days and asked for a kiss in he left, my mother shook her head in disgust. "Can you imagine, " she said. "Seventy dollars and I had to kiss him too!醫生按期來探視我的老母。我告訴他母親不幾天就要慶祝她98歲的生日了。醫生聽了也很高興，爲此，他彎下腰來親了她一下。然後他說不幾天他也要慶祝自己的生日，並要求她還他一個吻。醫生走後，我母親厭惡地搖搖頭。“你能想象嗎，”她說，“付了他70元，我還得親他!”
沒把頭髮全剪掉啊
Miles sometime went to the barber's during working hours to have his hair cut. But this was against the office rules: clerks had to have their hair cut in their own time. While Miles was at the barber's one day, the manager of the office came in by chance to have his own hair cut and sat just beside him."Hello, Miles," the manager said. "I see that you are having your hair cut in office time.""Yes, sir, I am," admitted Miles calmly. "You see, sir, it grows in office time.""Not all of it," said the manager at once. "Some of it grows in your own time.""Yes, sir, that's quite true." Answered Miles politely, "but I'm not having it all cut off."麥爾斯有時在上班時間去理髮館理髮，但這是違反辦公室規定的：職員只能利用自己的時間理髮。一天，正當麥爾斯理髮時，經理碰巧也進來理髮，而且就坐在他旁邊。“你好，麥爾斯，”經理說。“我看到你在上班時間理髮了。”“是的，先生。正是這樣。”麥爾斯平靜地承認了。可先生，你看，頭髮是在上班時間長的。“不全都是吧，”經理立刻說，“有一些是在你自己的時間裏長的。”“對呀，先生，你說得很對。”麥爾斯禮貌地回答說，“但我並沒有把頭髮全都剪掉啊。”
誰是世界上第一個男人
A teacher said to her class:”Who was the first man?”“George Washington,”a little boy shouted promptly.
“How do you make out that George Washington was the first man?”asked the teacher，smiling indulgently.“Because,” said the little boy, “he was first in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen.”But at this point a larger boy held up his hand.“Well,”said the teacher to him, “who do you think was the first man?”
“I don’t know what his name was,”said the larger boy, “but I know it wasn’t George Washington, ma’am, because the history book says George Washington married a widow, so, of course, there must have been a man ahead of him.”
一個老師問她的學生：“誰是世界上第一個男人”一個小男孩立刻大聲說：“喬治.華盛頓。”老師帶着寵溺的笑容問這個男生：“你如何證明喬治華盛頓是世界上第一個男人呢。”這個男孩子說：“因爲，他是第一個挑起戰爭，第一個主張和平，並且是第一個深得民心的人。”這時，有一個年齡稍大的男孩子舉起手來，老師問他，“你認爲誰是世界第一個男人?”男孩回答說：“我不知道他的名字，但是我肯定他不是喬治華盛頓，因爲歷史書上說，喬治華盛頓和一個寡婦結婚了，所以在他之前，當然還有一個男的啦。”