Perfect Match
A wealthy matron is so proud of a valuable antique vase that she decides to have her bedroom painted the same color as the vase. Several painters try to match the shade, but none comes close enough to satisfy the eccentric woman.
Eventually, a painter approaches who is confident he can mix the proper color. The woman is pleased with the result, and the painter becomes famous.
Years later, he retires and truns the business over to his son. "Dad," says the son, "there's something I've got to know. How did you get those walls to match the vase so perfectly?"
"Son," the father replies, "I painted the vase."
絕 配
一位富婆爲擁有一隻珍貴的古玩而深感驕傲，以至於她竟要把臥室漆成與花瓶同樣的顏色。幾名油漆匠試圖調出這個底色，但是誰也沒有能令那位怪癖的婦女滿意。
最後來了位油漆匠。他非常自信能調出那種顏色。那婦女對他的成果非常滿意，油漆匠於是一舉成名。
多年以後，他退休了，生意也交給兒子。“爸，”兒子說，“有件事我得弄清楚，您是怎樣使牆的顏色與花瓶配得那麼絕的?”
“兒子，”父親回答說，“我漆了花瓶。”
初二英語笑話帶翻譯二：
Three doctors arrived in heaven. St. Peter asked them why they should be let into heaven.
The first doctor said,″Because I won the Nobel Peace Prize for my work.″ St. Peter let him in.
The second doctor said, ″I haven't won any prizes, but I've started free clinics and helped those in need forfree.″ St. Peter let him in.
The third doctor said, ″I'm responsible for all the hospitals across the United States.″
St. Peter thought about it for a minute and said, ″OK,I'll let you in, but you will be responsible for your safety!″
3位醫生到了天堂。聖彼得問他們，爲什麼他們能進入天堂。
第一個醫生回答因爲我獲得過諾貝爾和平獎。聖彼得讓他進了天堂。
第二個醫生回答我沒得過什麼獎，但我開設過免費門診，免費治病。聖彼得讓他進了天堂。
第三個醫生回答我負責管理美國所有的`醫院。
聖彼得思考了一分鐘，說，好吧，我讓你進去，但你要爲自己的安全負責!
初二英語笑話帶翻譯三：
A little old lady goes to the doctor ... and says, "Doctor, I have this problem with gas, but it doesn't really bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted(放屁) at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because they don't smell and are silent."The doctor says, "I see. Here's a prescription. Take these pills 3 times a day for seven days and come back to see me next week."The next week the lady goes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts ... although still silent... stink terribly."The doctor says, "Good! Now that we've cleared up yoursinuses(鼻竇) , let's start working on your hearing."
有位小老太太去看醫生：“醫生，我有愛放屁的毛病。其實也不是大問題，只是我放屁不臭而且沒聲音。事實上，我在這裏已經放了20多個屁，但是你並不知道對吧，因爲我的屁不臭，而且還沒聲音。”醫生說：“好的，我明白了。吃這個藥片，一天三次連續吃七天，下星期你再來。”一星期後老太太來了，“醫生，你到底給的我什麼藥，現在我放屁還是沒聲音，但是怎麼這麼臭!”醫生說：“太好了!你的嗅覺正常了，現在開始治聽覺。”