Smith goes to see his boss in the front office. "Boss," he says: "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic(閣樓) and the garage.""We're short-handed, Smith." the boss replies. "I can't give you the day off.""Thanks, boss," says Smith, "I know I could count on you!"
史密斯去找他的老闆。“老闆，我們家明天有很重的工作要做，我妻子讓我修閣樓和車庫。”“可我們很缺人，史密斯。”老闆答道，“我不可能放你的假。”“謝謝，老闆。”史密斯說，“我就知道你會幫我。”
英語笑話帶翻譯 短二：
A woman walks up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch(門廊) .I couldn't help noticing how happy you look, she says. What's your secret for a long, happy life?I smoke three packs a day, drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods and never, ever , that's amazing, says the woman. How old are you?Twenty-six.
一位女士走向坐在門廊的.椅子上搖動的小老頭。我無意中發現，你是多麼幸福，那女士說。你幸福而長壽的祕密是什麼?我每天抽三包煙，每週喝一箱威士忌，吃高脂肪食品，而且從來不曾鍛鍊。哦，真神奇，女士說。你高壽?二十六。
英語笑話帶翻譯 短三：
An old couple went into a restaurant and ordered something to eat: one Coca Cola and one portion of French fries. The old man sat down and the woman, his wife, sat opposite him, and he began to divide the Coca Cola into two glasses, half for him and half for his divided all the French fries half-and-half. He gave half to his wife and kept half for himself. Then he began to eat and drink,and the woman just drank but didn't e was a young man who was standing next to the table and wondering why the old man had divided everything in half, and he thought that maybe they didn't have any money. He said tothe old couple, "Okay, I can buy you one more portion; you don't have to share like that."So the old man explained, "No, no, no, we have been married for forty years and we always share everything. Whatever we have, we share half and half. Don't worry, but thank you, anyhow."But then after a while, he saw that the woman wasn't eating eat, and only the man ate, and he asked, "Why aren't you eating?" And the wife said, "Today it's his turn to use the teeth."
有一對老夫婦到速食店去，叫了一罐可樂和一份薯條。然後他們面對面坐下來，那位老先生先把可樂分成兩杯，一杯給他自己，另一杯給他太太。接着他又將薯條分成兩份，一份給他太太、一份給自己。然後他開始吃薯條、喝可樂，但是他的太太只是喝可樂，不吃薯條。一個年輕人剛好站在旁邊，看到老先生把每樣食物都分成兩半，覺得很奇怪，他想或許他們沒有錢，便跟老夫婦說：‘我可以再買一份給你們，你們就不用這樣分了。’老先生解釋說：‘不、不!我們結婚四十年了，一直都是分享每件事物，什麼東西都是一個人分一半。不用擔心我們，不過還是謝謝你的好意。’過了一會兒，他看只有老先生吃着薯條，老太太沒吃，便問老太太：‘你爲什麼都不吃呢?’老太太說：‘今天輪到他用牙齒。’