笑話就是指以一句話，一個情節或一個小故事讓說話者和聽者之間覺得好笑，或是產生幽默感，另外一個行動(動作)型的笑話是以動作影響人的視覺及觀感，使內心產生愉悅感，而感很到好笑。笑話可以緩解緊張氣氛，一起看看下面的簡單的英語笑話吧！
英語笑話簡單的【1】
Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.
三個互相爭生意的商店老闆在一條商業街上租用了毗鄰的店鋪。旁觀者等着瞧好戲。
The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, Gigantic Sale! and Super Bargains!
右邊的零售商掛起了巨大的招牌，上書：大減價！特便宜！
The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, Prices Slashed! and Fantastic Discounts!
左邊的商店掛出了更大的招牌，聲稱：大砍價!大折扣!
The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, ENTRANCE.
中間的商人隨後準備了一個大招牌，上面只簡單地寫着：入口處。
英語笑話簡單的【2】
One Point
Hanging in the hallway at Whites High School in Wabash, Ind., and the basketball team pictures from the past 40 years. A player in the center of the front row in each picture holds a basketball identifying the year －"62-63", "63-64", "64-65", etc.
One day I spotted a freshman looking curiously at the photos. Turning to me, he said, "Isn't it strange how the teams always lost by one point?"
一分之差
位於印第安那州瓦巴西的`懷茲中學，其門廳裏懸掛着過去四十年間樣籃球隊的照片。每幅照片前排中間的隊員舉着一個籃球，上面標明年份－“62-63”，“63-64”，“64-65”等等。
一天，我看到一個新生很困惑地看着照片。他朝我轉過身來，說道：“多奇怪呀，這些隊都是以一分之差輸掉的！"
英語笑話簡單的【3】
or had a seven year old boy named or was expecting another child.
Pat had seen babies in other people's houses and had not liked them very much，so he was not delighted about the news that there was soon going to be one in his house too.
One evening or were making plans for the baby's arrival.“This house won't be big enough for us all when the baby comes，”said or.
Pat came into the room just then and said，“What are you talking about？”“We were saying that we'll have to move to an other house now，because the new baby's coming，”his mother answered.
“ It's no use，”said Pat hopelessly.“ He'll follow us there.”
新生兒
泰勒夫婦有一個七歲的男孩，名叫帕特。現在泰勒太太正懷着第二胎。
帕特在別人家看見過嬰兒，他不太喜歡他們，所以他對自己家裏也將有一個嬰兒的消息感到不滿。
一天晚上，泰勒夫婦正在爲這個嬰兒的降生計劃做安排。泰勒先生說：“有了嬰兒，我們的房子就太小，不夠住了。”
帕特恰好在這個時候走進屋，他問：“你們在說什麼？”他的母親回答說：“我們在說我們現在得搬家，因爲嬰兒就要誕生了。”
“那沒用，”帕特絕望地說。“他會跟我們到那兒去的。”
英語笑話簡單的【4】
Three Surgeons
Three famous surgeons were bragging about their skills. "A man came to me who had his hand cut off," said one. "Today that man is a concert violinist."
"That's nothing," said another. "A guy came to me who had his legs cut off. I stitched them back on, and today that man is a marathon runner."
"I can top both of you," said the third. "One day I came on the scene of a terrible accident. There was nothing left but a horse's posterior - and a pair of glasses. Today that man is seated in United States Senate."
三個外科醫生
三個有名的外科醫生正在吹噓他們的技術。“一個人斷了一隻手，他來找我，”一個說，“如今那個人是個音樂會的小提琴手。”
“這算不了什麼，”另一個說。“一個傢伙兩條腿斷了，他來找我，我將它們接了回去。如今，那人是馬拉松選手。”
“我比你們兩個都強，”第三個說，“一天，我碰到一起可怕的車禍。除了一個馬屁股，和一幅眼睛，什麼都沒有留下。如今，那人坐在美國參議院裏。”
英語笑話簡單的【5】
A highway patrol officer stopped a speeding motorist. "Don't you know what the blinking lights and siren mean?" he demanded.
一位公路巡警截住了一個超速司機。“難道你不知道閃爍燈和警笛的意思嗎？”他責問道。
"Yes, sir," replied the driver.
“知道，長官，”司機回答說。
"Then why didn't you pull over immediately?"
“那你爲什麼不立即靠邊停車？”
"I would have, officer, " the man said. "But last month my wife ran off with a policeman, and I was afraid you were bringing her back.
“我本來想這樣做的，長官。”那男子回答說，“但上個月我妻子和一位警察私奔了，我是害怕你把她帶回來。”
英語笑話簡單的【6】
At a pre-med university in St. Louis, we had to take a difficult class in physics. One day the professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A student rudely interrupted to ask Why do we have to learn this stuff?
To save lives. The professor responded quickly and continued the lecture. A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. So how does physics save lives? he persisted. It usually keeps the idiots like you out of medical school, replied the professor.
在聖路易斯的一所醫學院預科大學，學生必須修一門很難的物理課。一天，教授正在探討一個特別複雜的概念，一個學生粗魯地打斷他的話，問道：爲什麼我們一定要學這種東西？
爲了救人。教授很快回答，繼續講課。幾分鐘後，那個學生再次大聲堅持：那麼物理怎麼救人呢？教授回答：它通常可以把你這種笨蛋趕出醫學院。
英語笑話簡單的【7】
Several weeks after our son began his freshman year at Alma College in Michigan, my husband and I decided to visit him. I was careful to call him a few days in advance to "warn" him that we would be coming. When we arrived at the dorm, however, I was taken aback by the disarray of his room. "Forgot we were coming, didn't you?" I teased.
"Are you kidding?" he replied, "Why else would I have bothered to clean?"
我們的兒子是密歇根州阿爾馬大學的新生，開學幾個星期之後，我和丈夫決定去看看他。我特意提前給他打電話，“提醒”他我們將光臨。但是當我們來到宿舍時，他的房間凌亂不堪，我非常吃驚。“忘了我們要來，是吧？”我取笑他。
“開什麼玩笑？”，他回答說，“要不我憑什麼費神打掃？”
英語笑話簡單的【8】
情人來電
a man was sitting reading his paper when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan.
"what was that for?", the man asked.
一個男人坐在那兒看報紙,他的老婆用煎鍋打他的頭。
"那是爲什麼?",那人問道。
the wife replied, "that was for the piece of paper with the name jenny on it that i found in your pants pocket".
the man said, "when i was at the races last week, jenny was the name of the horse i bet on."
the wife apologized and went on with the housework.
妻子回答說,"這張紙上寫的名字珍妮,我在你的褲子口袋裏發現的"。
那人說:"我上週看比賽,珍妮是我下注的那匹馬的名字。"
妻子道歉,繼續做家務。
three days later the man is watching tv when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.
upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit him again.
she replied "your horse just phoned you".
三天後，他正在看電視,他老婆用比上次大得多的煎鍋打他的頭,他頓時失去知覺。
等男人恢復了意識，問他老婆爲什麼打他了。
她回答說:"你的馬打電話給你"。
英語笑話簡單的【9】
Blind Date
After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died.""Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!"
相親
和盲約對象呆了一晚上後，男人再也受不了了。他事先安排了個朋友給他打電話，這樣他就能借故先離開了。當他回到桌邊，他垂下眼睛，裝出一副陰沉的表情，說：“有個不幸的消息，我的祖父剛剛去世了。”“謝天謝地！”他的約會對象說，“如果你的祖父不死，我的祖父就得死了！”
英語笑話簡單的【10】
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch.孩子們在天主教學校的自助食堂中排隊打午飯。
At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."
在桌子的前端有一大堆蘋果。修女寫了一張字條，把它貼在了蘋果盤上：“只能拿一個，上帝在看着。”
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
繼續排着隊向前走，在桌子的盡頭有一大堆巧克力脆餅。
A child had written a note, "Take all you is watching the apples."
一個孩子寫了張字條：“隨便拿，上帝在看着蘋果。”