導語：也許你看過很多笑話，但應該很少看英語的笑話。下面小編給大家收集整理了簡單簡短的英語笑話，希望大家喜歡。
The New Teacher
George comes from school on the first of September.
"George,how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.
"I didn't like her,Mother,because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too."
新老師
9月1日,喬治放學回到家裏.
"喬治,你喜歡你們的新老師嗎?" 媽媽問.
"媽媽,我不喜歡,因爲她說3加3得6,可後來又說2加4也得6."
Excuse for Speeding
Harry and Lloyd were speeding down the road.A police car pulled them over.
〃Why on earth were you driving so fast?〃 the policeman yelled.
〃Our brakes are no good-so we wanted to get there before we had an accident!〃
超速的理由
哈里與勞埃德超速行駛,一輛警車攔住了他們.
“你們爲什麼開那麼快?”警官喊道.
“我們的剎車不好,因此我們想在發生事故前趕緊到達目的地.”
Two birls
Teacher:Here are two birds,one is a swallow,the other is who can tell us which is which?
Student:I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher:Please tell us.
Student:The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
兩隻鳥
老師：這兒有兩隻鳥,一隻是麻雀.誰能指出哪隻是燕子,哪隻是麻雀嗎?
學生：我指不出,但我知道答案.
老師：請說說看.
學生：燕子旁邊的就是麻雀,麻雀旁邊的就是燕子.
Bring me the winner
-- Waiter,this lobster has only one claw.
-- I'm sorry, must have been in a fight.
-- Well,bring me the winner then.
給我那個打贏的吧
-- 服務員,
這個龍蝦只有一隻爪.
-- 對不起,先生,這隻肯定打過架了.
-- 哦,那給我那個打贏的`吧.
my little dog can't read
n:Oh,my dear,I have lost my precious little dog!
h:But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
n:It's no use,my little dog can't read.
我的狗不識字
布朗夫人：哦,
親愛的,我把珍愛的小狗給丟了!
史密斯夫人：可是你該在報紙上登廣告啊!
布朗夫人：沒有用的,我的小狗不認識字.”
He is really somebody
-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.
-- He is really does he do?
-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.
他真是一個大人物
-- 我叔叔下面有1000個人.
-- 他真是一個大人物.幹什麼的?
-- 墓地守墓人.