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簡單幽默英語笑話

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你知道學些笑話的好處麼?當第一次見面的時候,總是有不知道該說什麼的尷尬,這時候你就需要一些笑話,來緩解一下氣氛呢,這裏小編爲你收集整理了簡單幽默英語笑話,希望能對你有所幫助哈!

簡單幽默英語笑話

簡單幽默英語笑話一:不同職責

I was taking my mother for a drive,and she' d scold me whenever I went over the speed limit. Unfortunately I dismissed her advice,and a state trooper gulled me over and issued a ticket.

每次我開快車超速行駛,母親都責怪我。今天我又開車帶母親出去,結果我還是忘記了她的教侮,開了快車。一位巡邏警叫我停了車,並給了我張罰單。

As my mother and I continued on our way,I complained that he should have let rne off with a warning."Joan,"she said,"I gave you the warning. He gave you the ticket. "

我們繼續趕路,我抱怨那巡邏警不應罰我,應先給我個警告。媽媽說:“瓊,我給你的是警告,但他給你的是罰單。”

簡單幽默英語笑話二:談話

First woman:"Working full time and trying to do the housework really gets to me. After work yesterday I came home and washed the clothes and the dishes. Tomorrow I have to wash the kitchen floor and the front windows..."

第一個婦女:“工作一整天后還要做家務,可真夠我受的。你看,我回家後要洗衣服、洗碗。明天,我還要擦洗廚房的地板和前門的窗戶……”

Second woman:"What about your husband?"

第二個婦女:“那你丈夫呢?”

First woman:"Absolutely not! He can wash himself.”

第一個婦女:“他絕不用我洗,他自己會洗。”

簡單幽默英語笑話三:永遠是駕駛員!

Our oldest son, Willy, a helicopter pilot stationed at Fort Rucker,Alaska, lives and breathes flying. When he called to say he'd be driving home for Christmas,a 16-hour trip,we were surprised. "Why don`t you fly home?"my wife asked.

我的大兒子威利,是阿拉斯加州福特羅克墓地的一名直升飛機駕駛員,生活、呼吸在飛行中。聖誕節快到的時侯,他打電話告訴我們他要駕車回來,有16個小時的旅途。我們嚇了一跳。“你爲什麼不坐飛機回來呢?”我妻子問他。

"Because,"Willy replied, "I hate riding in the back!”

威利說:“因爲我討厭坐在飛機的後面。”

簡單幽默英語笑話四:神童

I taught a "gifted and talented"class made up of particularly bright fifth-and-sixth graders. In the midst of a lesson on the power of observation, I realized that I was wearing two different styles of shoes. Trying to be as inconspicuous as possible,I moved behind my desk and concluded the lesson from there,thankful that the students didn't seem to have noticed.

我教的一個“高智商”班的學生全都是五六年級裏挑出來的。有一次上課,當講觀察的`能力時,我突然發現自己穿錯了鞋,兩隻鞋一樣一隻。我儘量裝成沒事的樣子,走動的範圍只限於講臺桌的長度,一直到上完課我也沒離開。感謝上帝,學生們看上去什麼都沒發現。

The next day,I discovered that my lesson had been learned all too well. Before me sat a class of bright, smiling students—each wearing mismatched shoes.

第二天,我才領略到我的課被學生理解得有多麼透徹。坐在我面前的這羣聰明、可愛、面帶微笑的學生,他們每個人都穿着不同樣式的兩隻鞋。