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開心一刻笑話大全英語

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開心一刻笑話大全英語

開心一刻笑話大全英語【1】

Back in the old Wild West, there were two blond cowpokes, Jeff and Dave. One day, the two were enjoying a strong sasparilla in the local saloon, when a man walked into the bar with an Indian's head under his am.

故事發生在很多年以前的西部,有兩位金髮牛仔。一個叫傑夫,一個叫大衛。一天,他們兩個人正在一個小酒館裏品嚐烈性酒,這時一個男的走進了酒館,腋下還夾了一個印第安人的頭。

The barman shakes his hand and says, "I hate Indians; last week the bastards burnt my barn to the ground, assaulted my wife and killed my children.” He then says, "If any man brings me the head of an Indian, I'II give him one thousand dollars.”

酒店老闆一邊搖手一邊說:“我討厭印第安人,上週那些可惡的傢伙把我的穀倉燒爲了平地,強暴了我的.太太,殺死了我的孩子們,”他接着說:“如果誰能給我帶來印度安人的頭,我就給他1000美元。”

The two blonds looked at each other and walked out of the bar to go hunting for an Indian. They were walking around for a while when suddenly they saw one; Jeff threw a rock which hit the Indian right on the head. The Indian fell off his horse, but landed seventy feet down a ravine. The two nuts made their way down the ravine where Dave pulled out a knife to claim their trophy.

這兩個金髮牛仔互相看了看,走出酒館去尋找印弟安人了。他們走了一段時間,突然看到了一個。傑夫向那個印第安人扔了一塊石頭,正擊中了他的腦袋。印第安人從馬上摔了下來,掉到了70英尺深的峽谷裏。他們兩個人沿着峽谷跑了下去。大衛取出了刀子正準備取下戰利品:印度安人的頭。

Suddenly, Jeff said, "Dave,take a look at this.” Dave replied, "Not now, I’m busy.”

突然,傑夫說:“大衛,快看那邊。”大衛說:“現在不行,我正忙着呢。”

Jeff tugged him on the shoulder and says, "I really think you should look at this.”Dave said,“Look,you can see I’m busy. There’s a thousand dollars in my hand.” But Jeff was adamant. "Please, Dave,take a look at this.”So Dave looked up and saw that standing at the top of the ravine were five thousand red Indians. Dave just shook his head and said, "Oh. . . my …God…we're going to be millionaires!”

傑夫拍着他的肩膀說:“我真的希望你能看一下那邊。”大衛說:“你沒看見我正在忙嗎,我現在手裏可是1000美元呢。”可是傑夫堅持說:“大衛,你一定要看看那邊。”於是大衛擡起頭來看,原來在峽谷的頂上有大約5000個印第安人。他搖着頭說:“我的天啊,我們要成百萬富翁了。”

開心一刻笑話大全英語【2】

A man died and his wife phoned the newspaper to place an obituary. She called the obituary department and said, "This is what I want to print: Bernie is dead.” The man at the newspaper said, "But for $25 you are allowed to print six words.” The woman answered, "OK. Then print: Bernie is dead. Toyota for sale.”

一個男人死了,他的妻子給報社打電話要刊登一個訃告。她接通了負責刊登訃告的部門的電話說:“我想刊登這句話:博尼死了。”報社負責人說:"25美元您可以刊登6個字。”妻子想了想說:“好吧,那就這樣登:博尼死了,本田車出售。”

開心一刻笑話大全英語【3】

Two IT guys were walking across the ark when one said, "Where did you get sucha great bike`?"

兩個從事資訊技術工作的男子穿過公園,其中一個說:“你從哪裏搞來了這麼一輛好自行車?”

The second IT guy replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, ‘Take what you want.’ The first IT guy nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit.”

第二個說:“我昨天在街上走,正在想我的工作,這時一個漂亮的女人騎着這車過來。她把車推倒在地上,脫下所有的衣服說:‘隨你挑。” 第一個男子點頭表示贊同地說:“你選的對,衣服不一定合適。”