生活需要笑話，笑話能愉悅我們的心情，歡迎欣賞開心一刻英語笑話大全!
開心一刻英語笑話大全(一)
A young girl was asked by her mother, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" The girl replied, "I want to be an old maid."
Her mother was surprised to hear that, and said, "Oh,dear, why?" The girl said, "I don't think I would like to kiss a man so many times and to tell him he handsome every time. I will get bored. I like to go shopping, so I'd rather earn money to buy things for myself."
一個少女的母親問她：“你長大後想幹什麼呀?”少女說：“我想做個老姑娘。”
她的母親聽到這話感到非常驚訝。她說：“啊，親愛的，這是爲什麼呀?”少女說：“我覺得我不會老是要去親一個男人，而且每次還要說他很帥。我會感到厭倦的。我喜歡逛商店，所以我寧願去賺錢給自己買東西。”
開心一刻英語笑話大全(二)
Witty Hare can run very fast.
機靈的`兔子跑得很快。
One day when he gets home. He sees a rat. The rat is jumping down his window.
一天，它回到家的時候看見一隻老鼠。這隻老鼠正從它家的窗戶跳下去。
“Oh. A thief!” Witty Hare shouted and catches the rat, “You can’t run faster then me.”
“啊!賊!”機靈兔子喊着追過去。 “你跑不過我的!”
Soon Witty Hare catches up with the rat, and the rat is left behind.
不一會它追上了老鼠，還把老鼠丟在後面。
“I must run away,” the rat says and laughs, “He is so silly.”
“我得趕緊逃。”老鼠竊笑着說：“這傢伙真笨。”
Witty Hare goes on running. A sheep sees him and asks him, “What a re you doing?”
機靈兔子繼續跑着。一隻綿羊看到了就問它：“你在幹什麼?”
“I’m catching the thief.” Witty Hare says.
“我在追賊。”機靈兔子說。
“Thief? Where’s the thief?” the sheep fells surprised.
“賊?賊在哪裏啊?”綿羊感到奇怪。
“He's behind me,”Witty Hare says proudly.
“它在我後面呢。”機靈兔子自豪地說着。
開心一刻英語笑話大全(三)
他去吃早餐，他想要2片面包，服務員只拿了1片，他說“I want two pieces ",服務員聽成了“I want to piss”(我想拉屎)。他又說“I want two pieces on my plate"，然後服務員就罵他“you're a son of bitch”(你這狗·娘·養的)。
他認爲服務員說他是“son of a beach(海灘)”。然後他又去吃飯了，服務員只拿了勺子和刀，沒有叉子(fock)。他說“I want a fock”，服務員聽成了“I want to fuck”，服務員回他說“everyone want to fu·ck",他又說“I want a fock on the table",服務員聽成了“I want to fu·ck on the table"。回到房間，牀上沒有牀單，他說“I want a sheet",服務員聽成了“I wanna shit(屎)”。
最後他來到前臺，工作人員向他說了句客套話“peace on you”，他卻認爲在罵他“piss on you。”，罵了人家一句“son of bitch“"我要回意大利!”