1、A man who sold brooms went into a barber's shop to get shaved. The barber bought one of his brooms, and, when he had shaved him, asked for the price of it.
"Two pence," said the man.
"No, no, " said the barber, "I will give you a penny, and if you do not think that enough, you may take your broom again."
The man took it, and asked what he had to pay for his shave.
"A penny." said the barber.
"I will give you a half-penny, and if that is not enough, you may put my beard on again."
一個賣掃帚的人去一家理髮店修面.理髮師向他買了一把掃帚.當理髮師給他修完面後,問了一下掃帚的價錢.
賣掃帚的人說:"兩便士"
"不,不"理髮師說,"我只出一便士.如果你認爲不夠的話,可以把掃帚拿回去."
賣掃帚的`人取回了掃帚,隨後問修面要付多少錢.
賣掃帚的人說:"我只能給你半個便士,如果你認爲不夠的話,你可以把鬍子再替我裝上."
2、A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer," the man began, "I can explain." "Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back." "But, officer, I just wanted to say,..." "And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!" A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back." "Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."
在一個小鎮上，一位警官攔住了大街上超速行駛的汽車司機。
“但是，長官，”他開始試圖解釋，“我可以解釋”
“安靜點，我會讓你在獄中冷靜下來，直到警長回來。”警官說。
“但是，警官，我只是想說……”司機不甘心。
“我說保持安靜!你要進監獄!”(交警纔不管那麼多呢!)
幾個小時之後，警官對他說，“你很幸運，警長去參加他女兒的婚禮。他會在他心情好的時候再回來。”
“別指望了，”司機回答，“我就是新郎。”
3、A man has a heart attack and is brought to the hospital. The doctor tells him that he will not live unless he has a heart transplant right away. "you're in luck, two hearts just became available, so you will get to choose which one you want. One belongs to an attorney and the other to a social worker" man quickly responds, "The attorney's"."Wait! Don't you want to know a little about them before you make your decision?"The man says, "I already know enough. Social workers have bleeding hearts and the attorney's probably never used his. So I'll take the attorney's!"
一個人心臟病突發被送進了醫院。醫生告訴他除非馬上做心臟移植手術，否則他將活不成了。“你很幸運，我們剛好有兩個心臟在這兒，所以你必須選擇其中一個。它們分別屬於一個律師和一個社會工作者。”病人很快回答：“律師的那個。”“等等!在作決定之前，難道你不需要了解多一點他們的情況嗎?”病人說：“我知道的夠多的了。社會工作者都是熱心人，而律師可能從來都沒有用過他的良心。所以我選擇律師的心臟。”