一小段一小段的英語笑話你看過嗎?下面本站小編整理的內容相信你會覺得很搞笑。
Fried chicken
In class the teacher showed pictures of various birds. Then he asked one of the students, "What kind of bird do you like best, Jack?"
Jack thought a moment, then answered, "Fried chicken, sir."
老師在課堂上向學生們展示了各種各樣的鳥的照片。然後他問其中一名學生，“傑克，你最喜歡哪種鳥兒啊?”
傑克想了想，回答，“炸雞，老師。”
I've Just Bitten My Tongue
I've Just Bitten My Tongue
"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.
"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"
"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "
我剛咬破自己的舌頭
“我們有毒嗎?”一個年幼的蛇問它的母親。
“是的，親愛的，”她回答說，“你問這個幹什麼?”
“因爲我剛剛咬破自己的舌頭。”
How much English can you speak?
"Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to
be accused of theft. He arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knew his
way around. What's more, he only speaks a few words of English."
The judge looked at the defendant and asked, "How much English can you speak?"
The defendant looked up and said, "Give me your wallet!"
"法官先生，我的當事人被指控偷竊，這是多麼不公正啊。他一週前纔來到紐約，幾乎不認路。
而且，他只會說幾個英語單詞。"
法官看了看被告，問道："你會說多少英文?"
被告擡起頭，說："把你的錢包給我!"
He Won 他贏了
Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
湯姆：約翰尼，你小弟弟好嗎?
約翰尼：他害病臥牀了。他受了傷。
湯姆：真糟糕，怎麼回事兒?
約翰尼：我們做遊戲，看誰能把身子探出窗外最遠，他贏了。
Three pastors 三個牧師
Three pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, You know, since summer started I’ve been having trouble with bats in my loft(閣樓) and attic at church. I’ve tried everything----noise, spray, cats----nothing seems to scare them away.
Another said, Yes, me too. I’ve got hundreds living in my belfry(鐘樓) and in the attic. I’ve been had the place fumigated(熏製) , and they still won’t go away.
The third said, I baptized(洗禮) all mine, and made them members of the n’t seen one back since!
三個南部的牧師在一家小餐館裏吃午飯。其中的一個說道：“你們知道嗎，自從夏天來臨，我的.教堂的閣樓和頂樓就被蝙蝠騷擾，我用盡了一切辦法----噪音、噴霧、貓----似乎什麼都不能把它們趕走。”
另外一位說：“是啊，我也是。在我的鐘樓和閣樓也有好幾百只。我曾經請人把整個地方用煙燻消毒一遍，它們還是趕不走。”
第三個牧師說：“我爲我那裏的所有蝙蝠洗禮，讓它們成爲教會的一員......從此一隻也沒有再回來過。”
Three Men in a Boat
Three men were sitting on a park bench. The one in the middle was reading a newspaper; the others were pretending to fish. They baited imaginary hooks, cast lines and reeled in their catch.
A passing policeman stopped to watch the spectacle and asked the man in the middle if he knew the other two.
"Oh yes, " he said. "They are my friends.
"In that case, " warned the officer, "you'd better get them out of here!"
"Yes, sir, " the man replied, and he began rowing furiously.
三人同舟
三位男子在公園的長椅上坐着。中間的一個在讀報紙，另外兩個在假裝釣魚。他們給想象的魚鉤上魚餌，放線，並卷線把魚抓上來。
一位過路警察駐足觀察了這個景象，他問中間的那個男子是否認識其他兩位。
“喔，認識，”他說，“他們是我的朋友。”
“那樣的話，”警察告誡說，“你最好把他們從這裏弄走。”
“好的，警官。”那男子回答說，接着就開始瘋狂般地做起划槳的動作來。
這有多嬌生慣養啊
The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled(被寵壞的) . His father knew it, but his grandma doted on him. He hardly left her side. And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum(亂髮脾氣) . Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmother's loving arms.
When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door.
Was school all right? she asked, Did you get along all right? did you cry?
Cry? John asked. No, I didn't cry, but the teacher did!
六歲的約翰嬌生慣養。他的父親知道這一點，可他的祖父母仍然寵着他。這孩子幾乎寸步不離他的祖母。他想要什麼不是哭，就是鬧。他第一天上學才離開祖母的懷抱。
約翰放學了，他奶奶在門口接他並問道：學校怎麼樣?你過的好嗎?哭了沒有?
哭?約翰問，不，我沒哭，可老師哭了。