英語幽默笑話 捲菸廠都失火
Mary was so disgusted at her husband's cigarette smoking that she complained to him one day.‘I hope that all the cigarette factories will catch fire someday .’‘Don't worry ,dear. All the cigarettes will be on fire sooner or later .’He said with a smile.
瑪麗非常討厭丈夫吸菸，一天她對丈夫抱怨說：“我希望有一天所有捲菸廠都失火。”“不用擔心，親愛的，所有的菸捲遲早都會點着的。”他笑着說
英語幽默笑話 成年人的抉擇
The year before my son turned 18, he constantly pleaded to be allowed to a have tattoo, but I refused to sign permission for argued that soon he would be a man and he should be able to make adult decisions. Sure enough,a few days after his 18th birthday,he come home with a tattoo. Although l was not happy about this, I was curious to see what symbol of masculin', he had chosen. There, on his shoulder,was a two inch image of Mickey Mouse.
我兒子十八歲前的那一年，常常向我提出准許他文身。但我拒絕允許他這麼做。他爭辯說他不久就要成爲男子漢了，並說他應該能夠做出成年人的抉擇了。果然，十八歲生日的'幾天後，他文了身，回到家裏。儘管我對此感到不高興，但出於好奇，我想看看他選擇了什麼雄性象徵物。原來他在肩上文了一個兩英寸長的米老鼠像。
英語幽默笑話 和上帝對話
He says: "God,what is a million dollars to you?"and God says: "A penny,then the man says: "God,what is a million years to you?”and God says: ¨a second", then the man says: “God,can I have a penny ?"and God says:"In a second."
他問：“主啊，一百萬美元對你意味着多少?”上帝回答：¨一便士。” 男子又問：“那一百萬年呢，?”上帝說：“一秒鐘。”最後男子請求道：”上帝，我能得到一便士嗎?“上帝回答：“過一秒鐘。”
英語幽默笑話 可以借用一下嗎
Are you using your mower this afternoon?
今天下午你準備用割草機嗎?
Mr. Johnson:Are you using your mower this afternoon?
約翰遜先生：今天下午你準備用割草機嗎?
Mr. .
史密斯先生：是的。
Mr. Johnson: Fine. Then can I borrow your tennis racket, since you won't be needing it ?
約翰遜先生：太好了。既然您不用網球拍，那我可以借用一下嗎?
英語幽默笑話 媽媽不見了
A little girl was lost, so she went up to a policeman and said, "l've lost my moml" The cop said,"What's she like?" The little girl replied,"Shopping and gossiping!”
有一個小女孩走丟了，於是她走到一個警察跟前說：“我媽媽不見了!”這個警察說：“她什麼樣子?”小女孩回答：“買東西和說閒話!”
英語幽默笑話 Get the kid
A bit of advice for those about to retire. lf you are only 65,never move to ansrUrement community. Everybody else is in their 71s, 80s,or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded,they yell,"Get the kid.
這裏想對將要退休的人提一點忠告。如果你只有65歲的話，千萬別進退休社區。因爲那裏的人都七八十歲或者八九十歲了。每當要搬東西，擡東西或者裝東西時，他們會喊，“讓小的幹吧。