1、Santa of course!
當然是聖誕老人啦!
On Christmas Eve Santa Claus met an honest politician and a kind lawyer while riding up in an elevator of a very exclusive hotel. Just before the doors opened the three of them noticed a 1000NT bill lying on the floor. Which one of them do you think picked it up?
Answer: Santa of course! Why? Because everybody knows that the other two don’t exist!
聖誕節前夕，聖誕老人和一清廉的政治人物，以及一心地善良的律師在一家進階飯店一同等電梯，門還未開前，三人同時看到地上有一張新臺幣1000元的鈔票，猜猜誰會將它撿起?
答案：當然是聖誕老人啦!爲什麼?因爲大家都知道另外兩者並不存在。
2、聖誕派對上得搞笑對話
"Isn't the head teacher a bit of a twit?" said a boy to a girl.
一個小男孩跟小女孩說：“你有沒有覺得班主任有點傻?”
"Well, do you know who I am?" inquired the girl.
小女孩回答到：“啊哈，你知道我是誰嗎?”
"No." replied the boy.
小男孩回答道：“不知道。”
"I'm the head teacher's daughter", replied the girl.
小女孩說：“我就是你口中所說的傻班主任的女兒。”
3、Saying a Prayer for His Christmas Meal
聖誕節晚宴上的`餐前禱告
Lee, A seven-year-old boy, was asked to say thanks for the Christmas dinner. The family members bowed their heads in expectation. Lee began his prayer, thanking God for his Mommy, Daddy, brothers, sister, Grandma, and all his aunts and uncles. Then he began to thank God for the food.
有個小男孩叫Lee, 今年七歲，聖誕節晚餐開桌前，家人讓他做餐前禱告。家人都帶着期待的申請低頭看着他，Lee開始做他得禱告，首先，他謝謝上帝賜予他爸爸媽媽，哥哥姐姐誒，奶奶還有他們家的所有叔叔嬸嬸。然後，他開始感謝上帝賜予他得聖誕節晚餐了。
He gave thanks for the turkey, the stuffing, the Christmas pudding, even the cranberry sauce. Then lee paused, and everyone waited ... and waited. After a long silence, the young fellow looked up at his mother and asked, "If I thank God for the Brussels sprouts, won't he know that I'm lying?"
他感謝上帝賜予他火雞，餡兒餅，聖誕布丁和紅莓醬。然後Lee停下來了 ，大家等啊等啊。。。。Lee沉默了很長時間，然後擡起頭看着他媽媽說：“媽媽，如果我感謝上帝賜予我甘藍菜，他會知道我在撒謊嗎?”
4、A Christmas Gift 聖誕禮物
A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas.
聖誕節來了，一位先生給他太太送的聖誕禮物是一個非常漂亮的鑽石戒子。
After hearing about this extravagant gift, a friend of his said, "I thought she wanted one of those sporty four-wheel-drive vehicles."
他朋友聽到他買這麼奢侈的禮物後，說到：“她不是想要輛四驅車嗎”。
"She did," he replied. "But where was I going to find a fake Jeep?"
先生答：“是啊，(可以買到假鑽石)，可去哪裏能買一輛假吉普車呢?”
"And do you know who I am?" asked the boy.
小男孩(面不改色心裏驚恐地)問：“那你知道我是誰嗎?”
"No," she uttered.
小女孩說：“不知道。”
"Thank goodness!" said the boy with a sigh of relief.
小男孩大大的鬆了口氣，說道“真是謝天謝地啊。”