關於聖誕節英文笑話一：
Very stupid robbersTwo robbers were robbing a hotel. The first robber said, "I hear sirens. Jump!"
The second one said, "But we're on the 13 th floor!"The first one screamed back, "This is no time to be superstitious!"
兩個笨賊 兩個盜賊在一家旅館偷東西。第一個說：“我聽到警報響了，快跳吧!” 第二個說：“但是我們現在在第13層啊!”第一個尖叫着回敬他：“都什麼時候了，還這麼迷信!”
關於聖誕節英文笑話二：
Good News And Bad News"There's good news and bad news," the divorce lawyer told his client. "I could sure use some good news," sighed the client. "What's it?" "Your wife isn't demanding that your future inheritances be included in the settlement." "And the bad news?" "After the divorce, she's marrying your father."
好消息和壞消息“有好消息，也有壞消息，”離婚律師告訴他的當事人。
“我總能聽到一些好消息吧，”當事人嘆了口氣說，“是什麼好消息?”
“你妻子沒有要求將你未來的繼承財產也劃入裁決的範圍。”
“那麼壞消息呢?”
“離婚以後，她將與你父親結婚。”
關於聖誕節英文笑話三：
"This house," said the real-estate salesman, "has both its good points and bad points. To show you I'm honest, I'm goint to tell you about the disadvantage - there is a chemical plant one block south and a slaughterhouse one block north."
“這幢房子，”房地產推銷商說，“既有優點也有缺點。爲了說明我是誠實的，我將告訴你們它的`缺點：往南面一個街區是一家化工廠，往北面一個街區是一家屠宰場。”
"What are the advantages?" inquired the prospective buyer.
“那麼它的長處呢?”預備購買房子的人問道。
"The good thing about it," said the agent, "is that you can always tell which way the wind is blowing."
“它的好處，”代理商說道，“就是，你總能分清風是從哪邊吹過來的。”