中國夢笑話英文版一：
A patron in Montreal cafe turned on a tap in the washroom and got scalded. "This is an outrage," he complained. "The faucet marked C gave me boiling water.""But, Monsieur, C stands for chaude - French for hot. You should know that if you live in Montreal.""Wait a minute," roared the patron. "The other tap is also marked C.""Of course," said the manager, "It stands for cold. After all, Montreal is a bilingual city."
中國夢笑話英文版二：
Father: I promised to buy you a car if you passed your examination, and you have failed. What were you doing last term?
父親：我曾向你許諾，如果你考試及格就給你買倆小汽車，可你卻未能做到。你上學期一直在幹什麼呀?
Son: I was learning to drive a car.
兒子：我在學開汽車。
中國夢笑話英文版三：
Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day while they were walking by the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom. Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.
Jim和Mary都是精神病院裏的病人。一天，他們沿着醫院的游泳池散步，Jim突然跳入泳池的'深水區，他沉到了底部。Mary立刻跳下去救他，她潛到水底，把Jim拉了上來。
When the medical director became aware of Mary's heroic act he immediately reviewed her file and called her into his office.
當院長聽聞了Mary的英勇行爲後，他立刻翻看了她的病歷檔案,把她叫進了自己的辦公室.
"Mary, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged because since you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think you've regained your senses. The bad news is Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom，he's dead."
“Mary，我有一個好消息和一個壞消息要告訴你。好消息是你能跳入水中救其他病人，這說明你的意識已經恢復了，你可以出院了。壞消息就是，Jim，你救的那個病人，他還是用自己的浴袍帶子在浴室上吊自殺了。”
Mary replied, "He didn't hang himself, I hung him up to dry."
Mary說：“他沒有自殺，是我把他吊起來好讓他晾乾。”