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經典英語笑話大全2015

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CD唱機

經典英語笑話大全2015

While shopping for my first CD player, I was able to decipher most of the technicalese on the promotional signs. One designation had me puzzled, though, so I called over a salesperson and asked, What does 'hybrid pulse D/A converter' mean?That means, she said, that this machine will read the digital information that is encoded on CDs and convert it into an audio signal - that is, into other words this CD player plays tly.

在購買我的第一部CD唱機時,我能夠解讀推銷標記上面的大多數技術語言。但是有一個標示卻讓我頗爲迷惑,於是我叫過銷售商,問道:‘混合脈衝D/A變換器’是什麼意思?它的意思是,她說,這個機器能夠讀CD碟上加碼的數字資訊,將它轉換成聲音資訊-也就是說,轉換成音樂。換句話說,這個CD唱機能夠播放CD碟。正是如此。

他們全都淹死了

The great painter was asked, one day to paint a picture of Pharaoh crossing the Red Sea. A little while after the picture had been commenced, a hitch(故障) arose over the fee, and Hogarth found that he would have to complete the commission for about half the sum he expected. When the work was completed, the patron(贊助人,主顧) was asked to come and inspect it. As a matter of fact, the picture was just one daub(塗抹,塗料) of brilliant 's this? exclaimed the purchaser. I asked for the Red Sea, on the occasion of the celebrated 's it, replied , where are the Israelites?They are all gone e are the Egyptians?They're all drowned.

一天,有人請這位偉大的畫家畫一幅法老王渡紅海圖。這幅畫剛開始不久,酬金就出現了問題。霍迪斯發現,完成這幅畫後,他只能得到他想要的`大約一半的錢。當作品完成之後,那位主顧被請來看畫。其實,這幅畫不過是胡亂塗抹的一片鮮紅。這是什麼?那位買主喊了起來。我要的是紅海,是那次著名的航海。這就是,霍迦斯回答說。可是以色列人在哪兒?他們都已經渡過去了。埃及人在哪兒?他們全都淹死了。

Excellent Skills

After friends of mine landed at busy Newwark Airport, they were unable to attract the attention of any porters to help with their luggage. In desperation, the husband took out a five-dollar bill and waved it above the crowd.

In an instant, a skycap was at his side. "Sir," observed the porter, " you certainly have excellent communication skills.

我的朋友們在繁忙的紐瓦克機場着陸後,他們卻不能招呼到腳伕來幫他們搬行李。無奈,丈夫拿出一張五美元的鈔票在人羣上面搖晃。

一個帶寬邊帽的人馬上來到他身邊。“先生,”腳伕說道,“很明顯你有絕妙的交際技巧。”

可憐的人

"Oh, my poor man," exclaimed the kind old lady, "It must be dreadful to be lame. But it would be much worse if you were blind."

"You're absolutely right," said the beggar, obviously an old hand at the game." When I was blind, people kept giving me foreign coins."

"啊,可憐的人,"善良的老婦人驚歎道。"腳瘸就夠慘的了,要是眼瞎就更糟了。"

"你說的一點兒沒錯,"那乞丐說。他顯然是乞討老手。"我眼瞎的時候,人們老是給我外幣。"

終身保修

After burying his mother nine months earlier, a client of the local mortuary finally had enough money to purchase the expensive coffin he'd originally wanted. So we exhumed the body and transferred his deceased mother into the new steel casket. "What's so special about this coffin?" I asked the funeral director. He replied, "It has a lifetime warranty."

在將母親下葬9個月後,當地殯儀館的一個客戶終於攢夠了錢去買那副他早就相中的價值不菲的棺材了。他把母親的棺材挖了出來,將屍體轉移到了那副新的鋼製棺材中。“這副棺材有什麼特別?”,我問葬禮的承辦人。他回答說,“這種棺材終生保修。

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