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逗趣笑翻天英語笑話

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逗趣笑翻天英語笑話

逗趣笑翻天英語笑話(一)

The Cemetery Shortcut

爲抄近路走墓地

Two men were walking home after a Halloween party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs.

萬聖節派對過後,兩男人圖個樂呵,打算抄近路穿過墓地回家。

Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows.

走到墓地中央時,他們被從迷霧中傳來的“答、答、答”聲驚嚇到了。

Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.

正當兩人害怕得渾身顫抖時,他們看到是個老頭拿着鐵錘和鑿子,在一塊墓石上鑿着什麼。

"Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath, "You scared us half to death -- we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?"

“哇塞,先生,”其中一人喘了口氣說,“你把我們嚇得半死啊,我們還以爲遇上鬼了呢!那麼晚了你在這裏做什麼?”

"Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!"

“那幫白癡!”老頭抱怨道,“他們把我名字拼錯啦!”

逗趣笑翻天英語笑話(二)

When they’re together, my five-year-old son and his cousin tend to cause mayhem. one Saturday, I put my foot down. “All right, you two,” I said sternly. “No screaming , grabbing, whining, hitting, teasing, tattling, breaking toys, scratching or fighting.”

As I turned to leave, I heard my son say, “C’mon, Steven, let’s get dirty . ”

我五歲的兒子和他的表弟在一起的時候,總要招來大亂。一個星期六,我開始抗議了。“好啦,你們兩個,”我嚴厲地說,“不許叫喊,不許亂拿,不許哭鬧,不許亂敲,不許取笑,不許扯淡,不許弄壞玩具,不許亂抓,不許打架。” 我剛轉身要走,就聽我兒子說:“來,斯蒂文,我們來把自己弄髒吧。”

逗趣笑翻天英語笑話(三)

During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.

One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.

Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.

Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys."

"Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said.

"Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister."

"I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!"

幽默故事翻譯

在第二次世界大戰中,有許多年輕的婦女在軍營中服役。瓊.飛利浦斯是其中之一。她在一個大軍營中工作,當然遇到了許多男士,包括軍官和士兵

一天晚上她在舞會上遇到了軍官漢弗雷斯。他對她說,“我明天就要出國,但如果我們能夠相互寫信,我會很高興。”瓊同意了,於是他們幾個月裏一直通着信。

後來,他再沒有來信。她收到了另一個軍官的'信,告訴她,他受傷了,住在英格蘭的某個部隊醫院裏。

瓊到了醫院,她對護士長說,“我來看望軍官漢弗雷斯。”

“這裏只有親屬可以探望病人。”護士長說。

“噢,是的,”瓊說,“我是他的妹妹。”

“很高興認識你,”護士長說,“我是他的母親。”