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英語爆笑笑話精選

學問君 人氣:3.09W

1、In an entrance examination of a conservatory of music, a teacher asked one of the boys, "What is the most important physiological quality of a musician?"

英語爆笑笑話精選

"To be deaf," replied the boy.

"Nonsense!" said the teacher angrily.

"Why, sir! Don't you know that the famous musician Beethoven was deaf?" the boy asked in reply disdainfully.

在一次音樂學院的入學考試中,老師問其中一個男孩:"音樂家最重要的生理素質是什麼?"

"耳聾,"男孩答道。

"胡說!"老師氣憤地說。

"怎麼了,先生!難道您不知道大名鼎鼎的`音樂家貝多芬是個聾子嗎?"男孩輕蔑地反問道。


  2、One day a little girl came home from school, and said to her mother, Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do.

The mother exclaimed, But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this! By the way, what was it that you didn't do?

The little girl replied, My homework.

一天,小女孩從學校回到家裏,對媽媽說:媽媽,今天在學校裏我因爲一件我沒有做的事情而受到懲罰。

媽媽激動地說:那真是太可怕了!我要跟你的老師好好談一談,對了,你沒有做過的那件事是什麼?

小女孩回答說:我的家庭作業。


  3、When they're together, my five-year-old son and his cousin tend to cause mayhem. one Saturday, I put my foot down. "All right, you two," I said sternly. "No screaming , grabbing, whining, hitting, teasing, tattling, breaking toys, scratching or fighting."

As I turned to leave, I heard my son say, "C'mon, Steven, let's get dirty . "

我五歲的兒子和他的表弟在一起的時候,總要招來大亂。一個星期六,我開始抗議了。“好啦,你們兩個,”我嚴厲地說,“不許叫喊,不許亂拿,不許哭鬧,不許亂敲,不許取笑,不許扯淡,不許弄壞玩具,不許亂抓,不許打架。” 我剛轉身要走,就聽我兒子說:“來,斯蒂文,我們來把自己弄髒吧。”


  4、A young mother believed that it was very wrong to waste any food when there were so many hungry people in the world. One evening, she was giving her small daughterher tea before putting her to bed. First she gave her a slice of fresh brown bread and butter, but the child said that she did not want it like that. She asked for some jam on her bread as mother looked at her for a few seconds and then said, When I was a small girl like you, Lucy, I was always given either bread and butter, or bread and jam, but never bread with butter and looked at her mother for a few moments with pity in her eyes and then said to her kindly, Aren't you pleased that you've come to live with us now?

一位年輕的母親認爲,世界上還有許多受飢餓的人,浪費食物真不應該。有天晚上,在安排幼小的女兒睡覺之前,她給女兒喂夜宵。她先給她一片新鮮的黑麪包和黃油,但孩子說她不喜歡這樣吃。她還要一些果醬塗在麪包上。母親看了女兒幾秒鐘,隨即說道,露茜,當我象你一樣小的時候,總是吃麪包加黃油,或者麪包加果醬,從來沒有面包既加黃油又加果醬。露茜看了母親一會兒,眼中露出憐憫的神情,然後她柔聲說:您現在能跟我們生活在一起難道不感到高興嗎?


  5、Reggie: We have got a new dog. Would you like to come around and play with him?

Ron: Well, I don't know---does he bite?

Reggie: That's what I want to find out.

裏基:我們又得到了一條新狗,你願意過來和他玩一會嗎?

羅恩:嗯,我不知道----它咬人嗎?

裏基:這正是我想要查明的。