導語：經常講一些笑話，不僅能給自己帶來快樂，還能感染他人，這裏小編收集整理了機智幽默的英語笑話，一起來看看吧!
1 One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm1) a mother was tucking her small boy into was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor2) in his voice，“Mommy，will you sleep with me tonight ?”The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring3) hug. “I can' t，dear.” She said.“I have to sleep in Daddy's room.”Along silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice：“The big sissy4).”
一個夏季的'晚上，雷雨大作，母親讓小男孩上牀鑽進被窩。她正準備熄燈，孩子聲音顫抖地問：“媽咪，你今晚可以陪我睡嗎?”母親笑着，擁抱一下小孩安慰說，“親愛的，不可以。我得睡在爸爸的房間。”一陣長長的沉默之後，男孩小聲地用顫音說：“大膽小鬼。”
2 Two twins went to the kindergarten.“Who's the elder and who's the younger one?” asked a nurse.
兩個雙胞胎走進幼兒園。“你們兩個誰大誰小?”保育員問。
One of them winked and said，“Elder brother，don't tell her.”
其中的一個眨了眨眼睛說，“哥哥，不要告訴她。”
3 One day after school the teacher said to his students，“Tomorrow morning，if any one of you can answer my first question.I'll permit him or her to go home earlier.” The next day，when the teacher came into the classroom，he found the blackboard was very angry and asked，“Who did it?Please stand up! ” “It' s me，”said Bob，“Now，I can go home，Good-bye，Sir! ”
一天，放學以後，老師對他的學生們說：“明天上午，如果你們當中的任何一個同學能回答我的第一個問題，我就准許他或她最先回家。”第二天，老師走進教室時發現黑板已被亂塗，他非常生氣地問：“誰塗的? 請站起來。”鮑勃說：“先生，是我，現在我可以回家了，再見。”
4 Teacher：“I have two questions，it isn't necessary to answer the second question if you know the result of the first much hair do you have?”
老師：“我有兩個題目，你若能答出第一題就不需答第二題。你有多少根頭髮?”
Student ：“A hundred and twenty millions.”
學生：“1.2億根。”
Teacher：“How do you know it?”
老師：“你怎麼知道?”
Student：“It is not necessary to answer the second question.”
學生：“第二題不需回答。”
5 Mother：“Susie，every time you misbehave，I get another gray hair.”
母親：“蘇茜，每次你表現不好，我就多長一根白頭髮。”
Susie：“Gosh，mom，you must have been a look at Grandma.”
蘇茜：“天哪，媽，那你肯定一直都表現很糟。看看外婆吧。”
6 Father：“Uh，oh，I think I just made an illegal right-hand turn.”
父親：“哎呀，我剛纔違規右轉彎了。”
Susie：“That' s okay，Dad，the policeman behind you just did the same thing.”
蘇茜：“沒事，爸，跟在你後面的警察也這麼轉了。”