要是有一則笑話解決不了的事，那就兩則笑話，看笑話，能讓我們變得開心，今天小編爲大家準備了爆笑開心英語笑話，歡迎閱讀!
爆笑開心英語笑話篇一：浪費還是節約
father: oh, jack, you have slept away the whole morning. don't you know you are wasting time?
父親：噢，傑克，你又睡了一上午。難道你不知道你這是在浪費時間嗎?
jack: yes, dad. but i've saved you a meal, haven' i?
傑克：我知道，爸爸。可我還給您節省了一頓飯呢，是不是?
爆笑開心英語笑話篇二：耳朵還在我衣兜裏
Ivan came home with a bloody nose
伊凡鼻子流着血回到家裏。
and his mother asked, "What happened?"
他媽媽問，“發生了什麼事?”
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.“
一個男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡說。
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
“再見到他你能認出來嗎?”媽媽問。
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan.
“他走到哪裏我都能認出他，”伊凡說。
"I have his ear in my pocket."
“他的耳朵還在我衣兜裏呢。”
爆笑開心英語笑話篇三：漂亮的結婚禮物
we attended the wedding of an acquaintance's son. because we did not know the young man or his bride, we decided to send them a practical household gift, a fire extinguisher. apparently, the couple mass-produced their thank-you notes because we received a card saying: thank you very much for the nice wedding gift. we look forward to using it soon.
我們參加了一個熟人的'兒子的婚禮。由於我們都不認識那個年輕人和他的新娘，所以我們決定送給他們一個實用的全家禮----一個滅火器。很明顯，這對新人大批量製作了他們的感謝信，因爲我們收到了一張卡片，上面寫着：“非常感謝您的漂亮的結婚禮物，我們期待着不久就用到它。”
爆笑開心英語笑話篇四：世界上最偉大的擊劍手
At an exhibition of the world's best swordsman, the third-place fencer took the stage.
在一場世界最佳擊劍手錶演中，排名第三的擊劍手上場了。
A fly was released, and with an arc of his sword he cut the fly in half.
一隻蒼蠅放了出來，劍劃了一個弧，他將蒼蠅劈成了兩半。
The crowd cheered.
觀衆歡呼起來。
Then the second-place man sliced a fly into quarters.
緊接着排名第二的人將一隻蒼蠅切成了四半。
A hush fell in anticipation of the world's greatest swordsman.
現場一陣沉默，人們期盼着世界上最偉大的擊劍手出場。
His blade came down in a mighty arc - but the insect continued on its way! The crowd was aghast.
他的劍鋒以一個巨大的弧線劃了下來--然而那隻昆蟲還在繼續飛行!觀衆被驚呆了。
The greatest swordsman had missed his target completely,
觀衆被驚呆了。最偉大的擊劍手完全錯過了他的目標，
yet he continued to smile.
然而他還在微笑着。
"Why are you so happy?" someone yelled.
“你爲什麼這麼高興?”有人嚷道，
"You missed!"
“你沒擊中!”
"Ah," replied the swordsman,
“啊，”劍手答道，
"you weren't watching very carefully.
“你剛纔沒有很仔細地看。
They fly lives, yes - but he will never be a father.
蒼蠅還活着，是的--但他永遠也做不成爸爸了。