1.、The Mean Man's Party
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"
吝嗇鬼的聚會
一個聲名狼藉的小氣鬼終於決定要請一次客了。他在向一個朋友解釋怎麼找到他家時說：“你上到五樓，用你的.胳膊肘按門鈴。門開了後，再用你的腳把門推開。”
“爲什麼我要用我的肘和腳呢?”
“天哪!” 吝嗇鬼回答，“你總不會空着手來吧?”
2.、Talking clock
會說話的鐘
While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked. "That is the talking clock," the man replied. "How's it work?"
"Watch," the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "Knock it off, you idiot! It's two o'clock in the morning!"
一個學生帶他朋友們參觀他的新公寓，甚是得意。“那個大銅鑼和錘子是幹什麼用的?”他的一個朋友問他。“那玩意兒厲害了，那是一個會說話的鐘”，學生回答。“這鐘怎麼工作的”，他的朋友問。“看着，別眨眼了”，那學生走上前一把操起銅鑼和錘子，拼命地敲了一下，聲音震耳欲聾。突然，他們聽到隔壁牆那邊有人狂叫，“別敲了，你這白癡!現在是凌晨兩點鐘了!”
3.、林肯過生日 Great Event
Teacher: What great event happened in 1809?
Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln was born.
Teacher: Correct. And what great event happened in 1812?
Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln had his third birthday.
老師：1809年發生了什麼重大事件?
小威利：亞伯拉罕-林肯誕生。
老師：正確。那麼1812年發生了什麼重要事件呢?
小威利：亞伯拉罕-林肯過他的三週歲生日。