笑話 1
爲什麼六怕七呢?
Q: Why was six scared of seven?
A: Because seven "ate" nine.
問題：爲什麼六怕七呢?
回答：因爲七連九都能吃掉呢!
(笑點：本應該是seven eight nine, 但是利用了發音相同，將eight用ate(吃)替換掉了。)
笑話 2
用“beans(豆子)”造句
A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."
一名老師讓學生們利用單詞“beans(豆子)”造句，其中一個女孩說“我爸爸種豆子”。另外一個同學說“我媽媽炒豆子”。第三名學生說“我們是人類”。
(笑點：老師讓用的單詞是beans，豆子的意思，結果，第三個學生將beings 和 beans 搞混了，因爲發音相同。)
笑話 3
兩塊蛋糕
Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?
Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!
湯姆：媽媽，我可以吃兩塊蛋糕嗎?
媽媽：當然可以----拿這塊蛋糕把它切成兩塊吧!
笑話 4
小女孩的願望
On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they would not have to stand on their toes all the time.
在觀看完芭蕾舞表演回家的路上，幼兒園老師問學生的觀後感。班上最小的女孩說，她希望舞蹈演員可以長得更高一點兒，那麼他們就不用整天踮着腳尖了。
笑話 5
拳擊和賽跑
Dan is teaching his son how to box. As he does so, he lefthis friend, "This is a tough world, so I’m teaching my boy to fight."
Friend: "But suppose he comes up against someone muchbigger than he is, who’s also been taught how to box."
Dan: "I’m teaching him how to run, too."
丹在教他的兒子怎樣拳擊。他告訴他的朋友：“這是一個粗暴的世界，所以我要教我的兒子怎麼去拼搏。”
朋友：“如果他碰上的對手是一個比他高大，健壯而且也會拳擊的人怎麼辦?”
丹：“我也會教他怎麼樣賽跑呢。”
笑話 6
Thinking Back 回憶
We were gathered together, all ten of us, for our widowed mother's 80th birthday. The conversation was of early struggles, walking to work and saving up in clothing clubs, when my elder sister said, "Of course, we were bound to be poor because we were such a big family. Mom, why did you have so many children?"
Mother looked around at us all and said, "Well, where did you want to me to stop?"
我們總共十個人，聚在一起祝賀已成爲寡婦的媽媽的八十歲生日。談的話題是我們家早年的.艱辛，走着去上班，在“新衣會”裏存錢準備買衣裳。這時我姐姐說：“當然，我們的生活沒法子不艱難，因爲我們家孩子太多了。媽媽，您爲什麼要生這麼多的孩子呢?”
媽媽看了我們一圈說：“那麼，你想讓我在哪兒停住呢?”
笑話 7
Dating for Mother 約會
When the young waitress in the café in Tom’s building started waving hello everyday. Tom was flattered, for she was at least 15 years younger than he. One day she waved and beckoned to Tom again. When Tom strolled over, she asked, "Are you single?"
"Why, yes," Tom replied, smiling at her broadly.
"So is my mom," she said. "Would you like to meet her?"
約會
在湯姆工作的大樓裏有一個咖啡屋，那兒總有一位小姐每天都和他打招呼。湯姆有些受寵若驚，因爲這位小姐看上去至少比他年輕15歲。一天她又對湯姆招手並示意湯姆過去。於是湯姆走了過去。她問道，“您現在是單身嗎?” “對，是單身，”湯姆滿臉堆笑的說。 “我母親也是，”她說，“您願不願意見見她?”
笑話 8
What do I get? 我能得到什麼?
Teacher: If I cut a beefsteak in half and then cut the half in half, what do I get?
老師：如果我把一塊牛排切成兩半的兩半，我能得到幾塊兒?
Tommy: Quarters.
湯米：四塊。
Teacher: And then if I cut it twice again?
老師：那我要是再切兩次，我能得到什麼呢?
Tommy: Hamburger.
湯米：漢堡。
笑話 9
The frog青蛙
The science teacher lecturing his class in biology said, “Now I'll show you this frog in my pocket.” He then reached into his pocket and pulled out a chicken sandwich.
He looked puzzled for a second, thought deeply, and said, “That's funny. I distinctly remember eating my lunch.”
青蛙
老師正在給學生上生物課：現在，我將要給你們看我袋子裏的這隻青蛙。接着，他把手伸進口袋，卻拿出了一份雞肉三文治。老師滿臉困惑地看了一眼，沉思了一會兒，說道：真奇怪。我明明記得我已經把午飯吃掉了。