有效
Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn't do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor, the doctor gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed. Tom slept well, and in fact, beat the alarm in the morning. He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully to work. "Boss", he said, "The pill actually worked!" "That's all fine" said the boss, "But where were you yesterday?"
湯姆早上老起不來，所以上班總是遲到。他的老闆非常生氣，警告他如果他不能有所改善的話就炒他的魷魚。於是，湯姆去看醫生，醫生給了他一顆藥丸並告訴他要在睡覺前服下這顆藥。湯姆照醫生的話做了，睡得非常之好，事實上，他在早上鬧鐘響之前就起來了。湯姆從容不迫地吃完早餐，然後興高采烈地開車上班去了。 “老闆”，湯姆說，“那藥真管用，我的睡眠好極了!” “是夠管用的.，”老闆說，“問題是，昨天你人哪去了”?
新員工
Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel director's office.
"What is the meaning of this?" the director asked. "When you applied for the job, you told us you had five years' experience. Now we discover this is the first job you ever held."
"Well," the young man said, "in your advertisement you said you wanted somebody with imagination."
一個年輕人在被僱用幾個星期後，被叫到人事經理的辦公室。
“這是什麼意思?”經理問，“當你申請這份工作時，你告訴我們有五年工作經驗，現在我們發現這其實是你的第一份工作。”
“嗯，”年輕人回答，“你們的廣告上說需要找一個有想象力的人嘛。”
Fried chicken
In class the teacher showed pictures of various birds. Then he asked one of the students, "What kind of bird do you like best, Jack?"
Jack thought a moment, then answered, "Fried chicken, sir."
老師在課堂上向學生們展示了各種各樣的鳥的照片。然後他問其中一名學生，“傑克，你最喜歡哪種鳥兒啊?”
傑克想了想，回答，“炸雞，老師。”
誰認爲自己蠢就站起來?
A teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"
Little Johnny then stood up.
The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Johnny?"
"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
一個老師在對學生們講心理學，“誰認爲自己蠢就站起來?”她一開始就說。
小約翰尼站了起來。
“你認爲你很蠢嗎，小約翰尼?”老師問。
“不是的，老師，我只是不喜歡看你一個人站着。”
拍賣會上 At Auction Fair
At auction spot, someone has lost a bag, in which has the vital document.
The owner says, "Once who picked it up brings it to me, I will take out 200 dollars to remunerate reward him or her."
On hearing the news, another chap(小夥子，傢伙) shouts out:" I reward 300 dollars."
拍賣會上，有人的包丟了，裏面裝有重要檔案。物主說：“有誰揀到送還，我將拿出200美元以表酬謝。”
話剛出口，就聽有人喊：“我出300美元。”